GRATEMUSINGS

"Grateful, say something about your best friend!". They shouted with irritation and impatience boldly written on their faces.

I stood there, motionless with my eyes fixed on the ground and my hands, supporting my eyelids.

It was my best friend's fifteenth birthday and she decided to celebrate it with her classmates in the school.

When the school period was over, the party started. Usually, as the best friend of the celebrant, I was supposed to be the most overly excited and ever ready to make a lot of noise, do some shakara and be in charge of the cake.

However, I was sitting quietly and wishing I could do all the things that I was imagining in my head, at least to make it obvious that I was really happy for her. My mind was ready but my unexpressive body couldn't move, not even to beam a smile. 

Now, it was the time for the world to hear from me. Everyone, including a new intake knew that I and Amarachi were like "bread and tea". We were rarely seen apart from each other. It was a tradition on birthday celebrations that someone especially the best friend of the celebrant must say something about the celebrant.

As expected, I stood up, the first time I realized that I had an obligation and the only thing my body could do at the moment.

But my face fell in love with their feet so much that it couldn't stop looking at them. Scared that my eyes may betray me, I used my hand to help cover the eyes.

My heart was limping, probably with joy because it was beating non-stop.

I never knew words hated me until then. It abandoned my innocent mouth and my lips couldn't help but tremble.

My countenance helped to express the disappointment I felt with both the words that left me and myself that couldn't face my own classmates. 

The words that rang in my ears were " Grateful, you're being overestimated by our teachers. Actually, you know nothing. You're someone who cannot get knowledge outside the walls of a school. You're the most jejune person I have ever come acrossed". Those were the words of one of my classmates to me. Words that have created an indelible print in my mind.

And yes, this has proven that he was right after all. If I can't speak in front of my classmates, if I can't talk about my best friend, if I can't make her happy on her special day, then he's right!. It was the bitter truth. 

Just when these words were continually repeating themselves on my head like a monstrous voice talking and mocking me. I saw another different feet, quite different from the ones I have been looking at. It was a disappointment that I couldn't look back at the eyes that were waiting anxiously to hear from me.

I looked up at that different feet, that have found its way beside me. 

Managing to look beside me, I realized those belonged to my biology teacher. Even while realizing that, I refused to look up at him.

Suddenly, I felt his breath close to my right ear and I heard his voice. " Grateful, I want you to look up and see what I want to show you". I obeyed, raised my head and saw nothing but the eyes that I was initially scared of looking at. He continued "...keep looking at them, now did you know that these people are your classmates?"... I replied in affirmation. "...I want you to understand that they have they have their own weaknesses and strengths, just like you. The only difference is that yours was obvious but there is still a way to hide it or better still convert it into strength and that is, to stand up, look at them and talk to them boldly...". I stared at my mates with all the confidence that I can gather. He continued "Grateful, you're intelligent, smart, disciplined and responsible. These are your strengths and I want you to focus on them and talk to your classmates the way you have envisioned it".

The words that earlier abandoned me returned, like we have reconciled. 

I promised to deal with them this time shàa...

Firstly, I looked up at the familiar faces, they were smiling and I smiled back at them. I looked at my best friend, the celebrant, she was also smiling, I smiled back at her. This was the girl that has inspired me a lot and I wish to tell everyone how much I loved her charisma.

I began by telling them how my passing of mathematics was because of her by my side. She was ever ready to teach me until I understand...

#Thejourneytowardsbuildingmyselfesteem#